You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis to Go to Therapy
When most people think about therapy, the initial thought is that therapy is for crazy people. Or they picture someone who is struggling with a major mental health crisis, experiencing severe anxiety or depression, or trying to recover from a traumatic event.
But therapy isn't only for times when life feels unbearable. I want to shatter that myth.
Sometimes, therapy is simply about recognizing that something isn't working—and deciding you don't want to keep doing it the same way. And therapy can just be ongoing maintenance, kind of like you do for your car, to keep it running smoothly.
You Can Go to Therapy Before Things Fall Apart
You don't have to wait until your marriage is in trouble, your anxiety is overwhelming, your can't get out of bed, or you just feel completely burned out.
Maybe you've noticed that you're:
Feeling more stressed than usual
Having difficulty setting boundaries
Struggling with communication
Feeling disconnected from your spouse or family
Overthinking everything
Having trouble managing emotions
Feeling stuck in the same patterns
Experiencing changes in motivation or mood
Struggling with a major life transition
Carrying stress that you haven't had time to process
None of these automatically mean that something is "wrong" with you. In fact, most of these things are "normal" everyday things that most people struggle with from time to time.
They may simply be signs that you could benefit from having a safe place to slow down, understand what's happening, and develop some healthier ways of responding.
Therapy Isn't About Fixing What's Broken
One of the biggest misconceptions about counseling is that you have to be broken before you deserve help. Or thinking that you can't "fix" what's not broken.
None of that is true.
Therapy can be a place to learn more about yourself, recognize patterns, strengthen relationships, process difficult experiences, and develop practical tools for navigating life.
Sometimes the goal isn't to eliminate every difficult emotion. It's to learn how to respond to those emotions in healthier ways. It's to learn how to communicate better. Or it's to develop stronger boundaries for yourself.
And sometimes, simply having someone listen without judgment can help you see a situation differently. Lots of people I work with simply wanted or needed space and time with someone who isn't directly invested or involved in their daily life, who would just listen and allow them to process, and maybe ask questions or offer suggestions when they get stuck.
Mental Health Is Part of Your Overall Health
We often pay attention to physical symptoms but ignore emotional and mental ones.
If your body hurts, you make an appointment with your doctor, chiropractor, or physical therapist.
If you have a persistent cough, you seek medical attention.
If your tooth aches, you call the dentist.
But when you're emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, or struggling in your relationships, you may tell yourself to "just get over it." We don't seem to put the same value or importance to our mental health, as we do to our physical health. When I say it like that, it sounds crazy, right?
Mental health deserves attention, too. What have we been conditioned to seek help for physical concerns and not mental or emotional concerns? Think of how much better of we would be if we attended to our mental and emotional health too.
Stress, anxiety, grief, relationship difficulties, life transitions, and emotional exhaustion can affect how we sleep, communicate, work, parent, make decisions, and relate to the people we love.
Taking care of your mental health isn't selfish. It's part of taking care of your whole self. It is making sure you are keeping your whole body running smoothly.
And You Don't Have to Have All the Answers Before You Begin
Another reason people avoid counseling is because they aren't sure what to say.
You don't need to walk into your first counseling session with everything figured out. Heck, that's what therapists are there for!
You can simply show up to your counseling session and say:
"I don't know exactly what's wrong. I just know I don't feel like myself."
Or:
"I keep reacting to things differently than I want to."
Or:
"My relationship isn't where I want it to be, and I don't know how to change it."
Those are perfectly reasonable places to begin. Your therapist will ask the necessary questions to help you unpack how you're feeling and get to the bottom of things, with you.
Part of the counseling process is figuring out what is happening, what may be contributing to it, and what changes might help.
Asking for Help Is Not a Sign of Weakness
There is strength in recognizing when you need support.
Counseling doesn't mean you've failed at handling life. It means you're willing to be intentional about your mental and emotional well-being. It's making your overall health a priority.
You don't have to wait until you're falling apart to start putting things back together. In fact, it's probably easier on you if you take care of things before they fall apart, than to wait until they're broken. Again, I use the car maintenance analogy. We go for regularly scheduled maintenance of our cars, to make sure they continuously run smoothly. We take care of things before they become a problem. Because if we wait, things are more difficult to diagnose and repair, and often cost a lot more - whether that's money, time, or energy.
Sometimes the best time to seek counseling is when you notice the first signs that something needs attention.
A Small Step Can Make a Big Difference
Change doesn't always happen through one dramatic decision. In fact, you may not notice much of a difference just by making the decision to seek counseling.
Sometimes change starts with one small step:
Making the phone call.
Scheduling the free consultation.
Talking honestly about what's been bothering you. Instead of ignoring it, actually naming it.
Admitting that you're tired of repeating the same pattern and having the desire to change.
Being willing to look at yourself—not just everyone around you—and ask, "What can I do differently?"
You don't have to know exactly where the process will lead.
You simply have to be willing to take the first step.
You Don't Have to Wait for a Crisis
If you're struggling with anxiety, stress, relationship difficulties, life changes, or simply feeling stuck, counseling may provide a place to pause, gain perspective, and begin moving forward.
At Mustard Seed Christian Counseling, counseling is about meeting you where you are and helping you take meaningful steps toward greater emotional and relational health.
You don't have to wait until everything falls apart to ask for help. You can ask for help now.
Sometimes, taking care of yourself begins with recognizing
that you don't have to do everything alone.
If you're interested in couples or individual counseling, please visit my website and schedule a free 15 minute consultation - www.mustardseedchristiancounseling.com.
If you'd like to see any of my previous blog posts, please click here or visit the Blog tab on my website.
I provide online individual and couples counseling throughout California, Tennessee, Ohio, South Carolina, and Florida.
Website - www.mustardseedchristiancounseling.com
Instagram - @brittaniedmillslmft
Facebook - www.facebook.com/brittaniedmillslmft
Email - bdmills@brittaniedmillslmft.com
Phone - (925) 335-6122
The Mustard Seed Marriage Podcast
